The Three Doctors is my first real, big-time disappointment with Classic Doctor Who. It's just moronic. It's bad. It's so bad.
PLOT
On paper: The inventor of the Time Lord power source - the Eye Of Harmony - has been trapped in the anti-matter universe in/on the singularity of a black hole for thousands of years. Driven mad by hate, he has found a way to attack the Time Lords whom he blames for this.
In desperation, the Time Lords send the Doctor times three to stop Omega from destroying the universe.
In reality: The Third Doctor, comedy stand-up Second Doctor and zombie First Doctor vs an over-actor in a quarry. Plus Einstein for no reason whatsoever.
It is absolutely abysmal. The whole script is nonsense, filled with dialogue that a 10-year old might write, the characterisation is all over the place and the sets are cheaper than ever before(okay, not as bad as The Keys Of Marinus, but still).
CHARACTERS
William Hartnell is met with a combination of his debilitating illness and being forced to read his lines off from charts and gives us Zombie Doctor. His delivery of "Now, what's a bridge for, eh?" is a heartbreaking parody of himself.
Patrick Troughton is both intensely over the top and out of character. His lovably frivolous Doctor is replaced with a flippant, self-centred one. He's quite honestly an annoying nuisance for much of the story who keeps getting himself into arguments with the Third Doctor over nothing. It's easily his worst performance.
Jon Pertwee is the only one of the three who puts in a competent showing, but given that he's the current one at the time, that doesn't really get my mood up.
The Brigadier is characterised here as an utter buffoon(I've heard people say that his character has been on a downslope since Season 7, but I wouldn't say that. He's been mostly consistent depending on the writing as far as I'm concerned, until now) whom Benton and the Second Doctor have to follow around to make sure he doesn't hurt himself. Probably the dumbest moment for him was when he entered the TARDIS and exclaimed: "So this is what you've been doing with UNIT funds and equipment!" as if he wasn't very well aware of what the TARDIS was!
As if he wasn't the first person to accept the reality of the TARDIS and aliens all the way back in The Web Of Fear!!
Both mr. Ollis and Dr. Tyler are completely useless and serve to pad the story out. It could've been a two-parter by the way, because it's basically just "Doctors and companions go to the other universe, trick Omega to blow himself up and go back home". It feels very short.
Jo Grant is her usual self, either shouting "NO, YOU CAN'T!!" 30 years before Rose Tyler did or saying what is possibly the worst line in DW history: "And we are all together, goo goo ga joob?" Okay so she's even worser than usual.
Which brings us to Benton and dare I say it, he's actually pretty good.
NOTES
*To be fair, The Three Doctors does boast one of the coolest cliffhangers yet: UNIT HQ flying into a black hole. That one moment was fantastic. Although it was kind of ruined by the double zoom on Palmer's face.
*I also kind of liked the episode 3 cliffhanger's slow zoom on Pertwee's terrified face.
*The resolution of the story is also pretty neat, with the recorder saving the day in a very clever sci-fi way.
*The running gag of the Doctor looking for the recorder("It's about this long with holes in it...") was amusing.
*The Brigadier's fourth-wall-breaking "Dun dun duuuun!" look into the camera after seeing where UNIT HQ is... I just don't know what to say about that.
*Is it just me or does Ollis never change his expression throughout this whole story?
*Even the editing here can be bad since there are awkward gaps between Hartnell's dialogue and the other Doctors'.
*One of the Time Lords is the one who put the Second Doctor on trial. And what do you know, his dialogue is bad and his performance facepalm-worthy.
*The incidental music had its ups and downs. The First Doctor theme is actually really good, but the tinkly music in Omega's lair quickly got on my nerves.
*Where's the beach that the Brigadier kept going on about? Sand does not equal beach! Especially not dirty, dusty sand with rocks in it!!
*I forgot Benton does indeed have one idiot moment to him as well. Throwing bubble gum at potentially violent anti-matter. Oh dear dear dear...
*It's kind of odd seeing the Second Doctor in a blue shirt, I must say.
*When Bessie first appears in the anti-matter universe, how are her wheels already dirty? She hasn't been driven around yet!
*I love a good coin flip, but since when does the Second Doctor do that?
*Speaking of him, when exactly does this take place in his timeline? I mean, there's no reference to him knowing about future events here, but he IS pretty different from what he used to be and it was also remarkably easy for the Time Lords to track him down(which they apparently couldn't do for the whole of the First and Second Doctor eras). So that would suggest season 6b again.
However, they also had no trouble finding the First Doctor which brings me to my second question: why did they let the Doctor be free for so long? My only theory is that they used the Third Doctor's timestream to locate them, which broke the First Law Of Time(as they mentioned here) and they couldn't do that in the earlier eras since they weren't relative to the easily accessible Third Doctor then.
I love to nitpick like that.
*Kind of slow, those anti-matter blobs, eh?
*Also, they remind me of roasted meat. Whenever I see a "Gel Guard", I always get hungry.
*The final goodbye scene was genuinely great. I loved it.
BEST QUOTE
"I hope I don't meet me again."
CONCLUSION
A disgracefully bad celebration of the first 10 years of Doctor Who.
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