The Twin Dilemma (1984) Review

"Is that good?"
"Lower! Ohh yeah, that's hitting the spot. Thanks, I must have
really strained my neck on Androzani Minor."

The Twin Dilemma is incredibly poor, but it's a strangely respectable kind of failure.

WRITTEN BY

Anthony Steven, and this was his only science fiction script from what I've heard. It shows.

PLOT

While Peri is forced to cope with a new, histrionic Doctor who has completely lost control of his emotions, two children are kidnapped by another errant Time Lord for the parasitic gastropod Mestor, who is plotting to spread his children across the universe with the destruction of an entire solar system...

ANALYSIS

If the stars aligned for Peter Davison's last story, they all abandoned Colin Baker's first, because everything that could've gone wrong here, did go wrong. However, it is not conceptually a bad story. The idea of a Doctor who is losing his mind is certainly interesting. I also like Mestor - a sentient parasite willing to destroy planets to reproduce.

But none of it presented in an appealing or consistent way. The scripts themselves are messy(particularly in the scientific department... we're talking "the moon is an egg" levels), the set designs are just dreadful, the costumes are ridiculous, the casting is all over the place and they push the new Doctor's negative qualities far beyond common sense. Cowardice, violence and ungratefulness are not part of the Doctor's personality, no matter how lunatic he has become.

CHARACTERS

Colin Baker's theatrical debut as the Sixth Doctor is certainly memorable... in fact, my initial impressions were quite positive! He comes off as the kind of Doctor that you can rely on purely because he doesn't bother with deceptions. So what if he wears a patchwork coat? So what if he acts like a cross between Rowan Atkinson and Soldeed from The Horns Of Nimon? What matters is that the Doctor makes sense to himself. Baker might have no shame, but he has conviction.

The problem is, as I mentioned above, that the production goes too far with... well, everything! Not only is Colin loud and brash and far removed from his predecessor, but he's also aggressive, cowardly and prone to fits of whining. The few self-aware lines don't wipe away the scenes of him choking Peri or showing willingness to let her or Hugo die for him.
So as a result, Colin's characterisation becomes a sour mess and I can't imagine anyone feeling very enthusiastic about continuing with him as the lead after this.

Nicola Bryant is... just not very good. There's nothing really wrong with the way Peri is written(although this story seems to completely ignore its immediate predecessor), but Bryant's stuttery delivery coupled with her whiny accent and obvious fear of the Doctor just don't make her a very appealing companion to watch, particularly not alongside Colin's incarnation. I'm guessing that their Odd Couple pairing works on paper, but on-screen, it just looks like he's mentally(and in one case, physically) abusing this shy, awkward girl. It's unpleasant.

The Conrad twins might be the worst guest stars to ever perform in an episode of Doctor Who. For your information, they were the sons of a recurring Doctor Who extra. Yeah, that cheap.

The last of the poor acting comes from Kevin McNally(Mr. Gibbs from the Pirates of the Caribbean movies!!), surprisingly. To be fair, he has a very thankless role, but he doesn't even seem to try.

Fortunately, the rest of the guest stars are surprisingly good and help to keep the utterly nonsensical plot afloat. Maurice Denham gave the old Time Lord Azmael some much needed depth and likability. The scenes between him and Colin are easily the most emotionally resonant(scratch that: the only emotionally resonant) in the story.

Edwin Richfield, albeit held back by a really goofy-looking slug costume, gives a strong performance as a Jabba the Hutt-esque villain, coming across as dangerous even from underneath the layers of plastic.

The same can be said for Barry Stanton's Noma, whose manners very much reminded me of a Klingon.

Seymour Green was not present for very long, but he was quite hilarious as the bureaucratic Chamberlain, who doesn't care who is in charge so long as he's not blamed for anything. Call me mad, but at the end, I began thinking of spin-off possibilities with him and Hugo...

NOTES

*I really like the updated, more colourful title sequence. Much easier on the eye, and Colin's gentle smile is lovely.

*What on Earth are Romulus and Remus playing at the start? Backgammon with paper chess pieces?

*As much as I complained about the Sixth Doctor, it must be said that Peri immediately calling him terrible wasn't very nice at all. And it's not his manners, mind you, she specifically said that he LOOKS dreadful. First of all, how shallow can a person be? Second of all, Colin looks fabulous!

*She also gets over the whole regeneration thing pretty fast, and immediately assumes that she has to live with his new face.

*The erratic breakdowns worked in Castrovalva, because they were mostly memory-based. Colin's random rants about the wheels of the universe crushing down on him are just embarrassing.

*I love how the Doctor points out that his regenerations have a diminishing effect each time. A clock tower and a few Dalek ships would like a word with you.

*Have I mentioned yet how much I love Colin Baker's Coat Of Awesome? I'm not even joking, I legitimately really like his outfit.

*The twins' apartment looks like a crappy kindergarten.

*One of Colin's few subtle moments: pay attention to his face when Peri describes his new outfit as "yuck!". I almost burst into laughter.

*The science in this story is so poor that it's pointless to ask questions, but I will anyway...
1) How does Azmael control the twins by giving them selective amnesia? What parts of their memory did he even wipe?
2) How can a revitalising modulator be revised as a time machine, and how can that take Peri back to the TARDIS?
3) Where are Hugo and Peri when the Doctor shows up 10 seconds into the future? Or is this like the Langoliers' time travel logic, where different time periods act like different dimensions?

*In the infamous choking scene, it's far too obvious that he's just holding Peri's neck gently.

*Why do the twins not employ their immense mathematical abilities to escape, and why are the guards not concerned that that might happen?

*As in Earthshock, we detect a fondness for Star Trek: The Next Generation. Suddenly, every ship in the cosmos has a warp drive.

*At one point, the Sixth Doctor is set to go out and you can hear the TARDIS door opening sound, but then he turns around and the door just magically doesn't open.

*One minor positive: I really liked the effect of laying the image of Mestor over Azmael's when they're communicating. It does actually help to give the sense that Mestor is controlling Azmael's mind to some extent.

*We haven't had this in a while, but once more the villains are trying to acquire "human originality", because we're the only race in the universe that can come up with stuff I guess. Including all this technology that the spacefaring races use daily-oh wait.

*One of the most idiotic "futuristic technology" moments I've ever seen: Romulus and Remus write our their calculations on an upright sheet of transparent plastic. With markers.

*This entire story only happened because the Doctor somehow inherently sensed evil. There is no excuse for this other than laziness.

*The bickering becomes almost hilarious in a scene where the Doctor and Peri somehow end up completely switching opinions about whether or not they should move on. First the Doctor argues for moving on and then he becomes cowardly, whilst Peri first tries to drag him back and then tries to guilt him into going deeper. What???

*Really, a digital calculator-style clock on an alien spaceship? What else, alien ice cream?

*How on Earth did a Time Lord end up becoming the "Master of Jaconda", and why were the Time Lords not concerned when(according to the Doctor), his experiments threatened to blow a hole into the universe?

*Why does Hugo feel the need to change his clothes onboard an alien ship, and why does he wear a glittery, tacky mess that just happens to contain the ammunition for his pistol?

CONTINUITY ADVISOR

1) The Doctor describes regeneration as a renewal, much like the Second Doctor in The Power Of The Daleks. A very subtle, perhaps unintentional callback that I caught me off-guard. Good job.

2) The Sixth Doctor directly criticises his predecessor's "feckless charm", which seems more than a little stupid... I mean, did they want to drop the Davison fans? Really?

3) The TARDIS wardrobe contains Patrick Troughton's famed fur coat and Jon Pertwee's outfit(Colin even tries the red velvet jacket), both from The Five Doctors. The wardrobe scenes have always been an easter egg hunt and hopefully always will be.

4) The Sixth Doctor intended to take Peri to rest at the Eye Of Orion, which the Fifth Doctor visited with Tegan and Turlough in The Five Doctors, but forgot the coordinates. Completely pointless callback.

5) The Doctor mistakes Peri for Tegan, and says his usual re-affirming "Brave heart, Tegan" to her. Well, we've seen regeneration episodes being used to make callbacks to prior Doctors before and it makes sense, so I guess I'll go with it. But they could've done without it just as fine.

6) The Sixth Doctor directly quotes his first incarnation by telling Peri to "kindly refrain from addressing me as Doc!". I'm not even sure if that's a reference or not due to this incarnation's personality, but it'd be a pointless, though passable if it was.

BEST QUOTE

"I am the Doctor... whether you want to or not." - Brave heart, viewers.

CONCLUSION

A really sad opening that could've been so much better with some redrafts and a good director.

Final thoughts on season 21: overall, I was really impressed with it. Though it had three utterly dreadful stories in it, the show regained a sense of pacing and fun, which made it so much more watchable and actually left me with a really good feeling about the Peter Davison era, of which I'm glad.

Shame that the Colin Baker era doesn't seem to be shaping up nearly as well, if this is any indication. Ironically, I must also wait a year before continuing with Attack Of The Cybermen, as the time has come for my mandatory military service. I will most likely not even be able to finish reviewing Capaldi's stories until May 2018. With that being said, it's been an absolute joy getting this far and I'm interested to see where it goes next when I get back.

And after that... who knows? Indeed, Who knows! *pokes nose* Ouch, I hit my zit...