School Reunion (2006) Review

 

The Doctor knew that the best way to reintroduce himself to Sarah Jane was
to perform his classic Michael Myers impression...

School Reunion isn't exactly flattering towards the Doctor and his companions, but the 1970s throwbacks are charming. 

WRITTEN BY

Toby Whithouse, a nerd. 

PLOT

The Doctor, Rose and Mickey investigate strange happenings at Deffry Vale High School, where they come across Sarah Jane, who is doing much the same. Together, the group discovers that the warmongering Krillitane race are using Earth's children as a computer to unlock the basic principles of the universe in a ploy for domination...

ANALYSIS

It's funny how intricately woven schools are into the fabric of Doctor Who. They're not a particularly often used setting(off the top of my head, I can only think of An Unearthly Child and Remembrance Of the Daleks), yet something about them just feels so quintessential. That stuffy building full of jaded, closed-minded adults trying to impress dry information onto children, chipping away at their individuality and imagination bit by bit. The Doctor, an arrogant know-it-all rebel, who runs away from all that tedious learning and whisks both teachers and children along for some first-hand experience.

Which isn't to say that I've got anything against schools or the education system. I'm merely reciting my perspective of the show, which in its many iterations has always sought to educate via good storytelling... with just a pinch of horror to make it last. School Reunion could be considered emblematic of the entire series. It depicts the Doctor as a teacher who's part of the system, until he fights back against the Headmaster(Rassilon) who abuses his power over the innocents to such an extent that the Doctor and his allies blow up the school(the final outcome of the Time War) in spite of its original positive purpose. 

Now, of course I'm massively reaching here, but I still found the parallels worthy of interest. Mostly because the actual episode really, really isn't. That surprised me, because I remembered this one being pretty great - there's certainly lots of eyecatching concepts like the Krillitanes and their metamorphic abilities, the Skasis Paradigm and of course all the nostalgiabait. Yet all of this goodness is trapped in a horribly misjudged soap opera storyline where Sarah Jane is framed as a jealous ex-girlfriend who eventually teams up with the current(and also jealous) girlfriend to poke fun at the clueless boy they both lust over. Out of all the possible ways they could've handled Sarah's comeback, they went with the most bafflingly infantile. It almost feels like a parody. 

Not that the rest of it is much of an improvement. There's a very cartoonish feel permeating the entire story, from the hammy acting to the self-indulgent(and teeth-grittingly unearned) banter to the simplicity of the entire setup. Evil teachers pushing kids too far for SCIENCE! And don't eat French fries, they're not good for you! Maybe it works better if you think of it as a pilot for the Sarah Jane Adventures, which was intended for younger audiences. That is, if you don't think much of younger audiences. 

CHARACTERS

The rivalry between the Doctor and Mickey has never been a highlight of either character, not even in the Eccleston era. But back then, Mickey was a hapless coward and the Doctor was much more bitter and standoffish with practically everyone. Carrying it over to now when both of them have made effort to become better people just feels wrong on so many levels. It's like Adric all over again. There's literally no reason for them to have this conflict, and it only seems to exist to push Mickey into joining the TARDIS crew as some strange way of "proving" himself. If Mickey's arc is supposed to be overcoming cowardice, I feel like there could've been much stronger ways of showing that than having the Doctor take the piss out of him for being startled by packaged rats. 

The central conflict between the Doctor, Sarah and Rose is equally immature. The Doctor could easily resolve his issues with both of them by telling Sarah that he doesn't want to see her age to death, and telling Rose that he's 900 years old and has naturally travelled with people as a result. I don't see why this is a big issue beyond Toby Whithouse's desire to arbitrarily force a kind of "generational conflict" where none exists. 

And as for the rivalry between Rose and Sarah itself, the fact that they are both seemingly so obsessed with their age and relationship with the Doctor is immensely detrimental to their characterisations. There's no getting around it: School Reunion has to be one of the most sexist episodes ever. If you're a girl, your world has to revolve around the Doctor. And if you're a guy, then you better be as cool as the Doctor or you might as well be wearing "pigtails and a frilly skirt", as he put it. 

Now, don't get me wrong: the Doctor is cool. In fact, one of my biggest criticisms of the Moffat era is the flippancy with which companions treated him and his gift of time-space travel. But I think there's a difference between appreciation and hostile clinginess, just as there is a difference between respectable independence and smug aloofness. 

On a more positive note, I did really enjoy Anthony Head's performance as the Headmaster. He seemed to fully embrace the silliness of the script and went for a lovable scenery-chewing performance. As I mentioned before, the concept of the Krillitanes as a race that picks up the best traits of conquered species(sort of like an organic version of Star Trek's Borg) is quite clever, and I loved the little touch of the Headmaster wanting either the Doctor's cooperation in his schemes, or at least his brain. It doesn't go anywhere, but it adds some depth to his motivations. 

I also loved having John Leeson back as K-9. In contrast to the slightly embarrassing writing that Sarah got, K-9 probably has his best single Doctor Who appearance in this story. You can tell, because the Doctor doesn't yell at him to shut up and he isn't confined to the TARDIS the entire time. 

NOTES

• If everyone except Kenny were eating the chips, why was nobody but Milo answering the Doctor's questions in class? 
• Please don't tell me that Mickey got into army records by using "buffalo" as a password again.
• I had to laugh at the x-treme "kids tapping at keyboards" montage with dramatic choir music. Classic Murray Gold. 
• There's sentimental and then there's David Tennant looking like he wants to kidnap Elisabeth Sladen and take her home during the first scene between the Doctor and Sarah Jane. 
• Maybe this is some kind of British thing that I don't understand, but aren't these children too young for a *high* school? Shouldn't they be 16-18? They look like fifth graders. 
• The Deffry Vale High School apparently doesn't have an alarm system, as both the TARDIS crew(slightly understandable due to the Doctor) and Sarah Jane(not so understandable) are easily able to stroll in at night. 
• For all the shit I give Rose, her line about the school being weird at night is one of the most relatable things I've heard on television. Nighttime schools are incredibly eerie. There should be a horror film set during a school at night. 
• What is it with the Doctor's inability to give his crew a name in New Who? I must say, I'd much rather have "comrades" than fam. 
• And speaking of the crew, one of the things I did like about School Reunion was the fact that the Doctor essentially had four companions(Rose, Sarah, Mickey and K-9), all of whom he assigned to various separate tasks at the same time to defeat the villains. You don't really see that with the usual "Doctor and 1 girl" TARDIS crews. It reminded me of Boom Town, when the crew were moving in on Margaret and the Doctor had Rose, Mickey and Jack cover all the entrances. There's something I love about that sort of micromanagement.
• How can the Doctor and co not notice the giant bat screaming its head off above their car?
• One more for the offensive lines pile - Mickey suggesting that Rose lay off the chips so she can better compete with Sarah for the Doctor's affection. Fucking hell. 
• Anthony Head being greenscreened on top of a building is some classic CSO-level stuff. Probably the most genuine nostalgia in the episode lol.
• Some of Sarah's comments about the Doctor - namely that he travels with aliens and intentionally replaces people with "new models" - are just weird. The only alien that the Doctor has travelled with before Sarah was Susan, and I don't think Sarah would even count her as alien. So where'd she get that notion? And as for replacing people... the only people who left the TARDIS by the Doctor's own will were Susan, Steven and maybe Peri at a stretch. Most, however, left him willingly or died. So Sarah(aka Toby Whithouse) is basically bullshitting.
• Why does the Krillitane attack the TARDIS crew at the cafe? Rose herself asks this, but it's never answered in the episode. Did he want the Doctor? If so, why does he give up after flying by once?
• "Your people were peaceful to the point of indolence". Clearly, nobody told the Headmaster about the Time War. Or The Trial Of A Time Lord. Or Genesis Of The Daleks. Or the Master. 
• I must admit, it's been a while since I've seen the classic series, but I don't remember the Doctor "talking at 90 miles per hour and looking at Sarah like she's dribbled on her shirt if she asked 'what?'"
• Did the Headmaster really have to mutter "close the school" right before he pushed a button and we got a montage of all the doors shutting? I should add that we had a scene before that where he told everyone he was going to close the school. How dumb does Whithouse think we are?
• You'd think that the Skasis Paradigm would come up more often, given that solving its equation with sufficient brainpower would grant someone absolute power. You'd think the Daleks would try that sometime. 
• As much as I hated this episode, the scene where Sarah Jane talks the Doctor out of trying to save Gallifrey with the Skasis Paradigm almost made it all worth it. A nice fat middle finger towards the feel-good ending of Day Of The Doctor. 
• The CGI Krillitanes are much, much faster than the actual actors running. There's no way our heroes survived. 
• You gotta love how none of the kids asks why they should obey a random dude who cut their study session instead of going to find a teacher they recognise.
• The Headmaster's final dialogue with K-9("You bad dog." "Affirmative!") would've had more impact if the Doctor hadn't just had the exact same conversation, only with calling K-9 a good dog.
• Why does the Doctor not give Sarah the cup of tea he promised? Tea is important! Don't promise tea if you have no tea.
• There should be a counter for Rose looking off-screen with a grumpy expression when the Doctor gives attention to any other person.
  

CONTINUITY ADVISOR

• Mickey's internet research into recent UFO activity is blocked by Torchwood, marking their first notable appearance on contemporary Earth(after a mention in the far future in Bad Wolf and their origins in 1879 in Tooth And Claw.
• Sarah Jane comments that the Doctor used to go by "John Smith". He did so in front of her in The Time Warrior and Invasion Of The Dinosaurs.
• Sarah's belief that the Doctor died after leaving her in Aberdeen suggests that the events of The Five Doctors were erased from her memory. 
• The Doctor specifies that K-9 is in its third incarnation, which he specifically created for Sarah Jane in K-9 And Company. 
• Sarah briefly references the events of The Christmas Invasion. She seemingly wasn't affected by the Sycorax's blood control, meaning that her blood type is not A-positive. 
• The Doctor defends his decision to leave Sarah by reminding her that he was summoned to Gallifrey(as seen in The Hand Of Fear) and that humans weren't allowed at the time. 
• Sarah and Rose's verbal catfight involves a whole load of references: Sarah mentions seeing mummies(Pyramids Of Mars), lots of robots(The Time Warrior, Robot, The Android Invasion), Daleks(Death To The Daleks), antimatter monsters(Planet Of Evil), dinosaurs(Invasion Of The Dinosaurs) and the Loch Ness monster(Terror Of The Zygons). Rose counters with: ghosts(The Unquiet Dead), Slitheen in Downing Street(Aliens Of London), the Dalek Emperor(The Parting Of The Ways), gas mask zombies(The Empty Child) and werewolves(Tooth And Claw).
• As Sarah enters the TARDIS for the first time, she and the Doctor do the "you've redecorated" routine from The Three Doctors. 

BEST QUOTE

"You act like such a radical, yet all you want to do is preserve the old order."

CONCLUSION

I wish somebody else wrote this.